Summer Nights, Make it last forever!
Summer Nights, Make it last forever!
GOTHIC QUARTER BARCELONA
One of the many beautiful areas in Barcelona.
MY IMMORTAL by EVANESCENCE
*this was the exact location they filmed the music video*
The minute the clock strikes midnight morning of March 8, my phone blows up with text messages and even a call from my parents. I didn’t answer or even reply back, and just put my phone on silent so I can at least get some sleep. This year hasn’t been the greatest and all I wanted was to get my 10k run for the Susan G Komen race for the cure that was coming up that weekend, which I signed up for months prior, otherwise I would’ve been somewhere exotic the day of my birthday so I can spend it alone.
A year ago I had a huge birthday. I planned it big. I flew people I had close ties with from around the country to celebrate with. I was surrounded by people who I thought were my friends. Since it fell on a Sunday, I had that typical Los Angeles “Sunday Funday” where you would go have brunch and needed that mimosa or bloody mary for pre-game, followed by a club lounge that had a DJ and of course plenty of drinks that was being handed to me without hesitation. I’ve always pictured a huge birthday, and that’s how I planned it last year. But little did I know, more than half of these people that came to my birthday last year I do not even talk to anymore. I had to purposely cut them off due to certain circumstances, however I did briefly mention is in previous blogs. I realized that these people were fake to begin with, artificial, and only wanted to become friends to get what they want. Because of this I started to lose trust and became a little depressed, not because of losing them as friends but because of how the situation occurred. When one person likes to brain wash other people and use them as minions, then that is fine. Go ahead and be a follower and live that way.
Within this year, my sister’s cancer did come back and luckily everything turned out ok. However, my cousin passed away Christmas night. Long story short they found a tumor in her brain, went into operation and doctors messed up. It took a toll on my family, especially during the holidays. Heartbreaking on how much I really wanted to be there for them when I couldn’t because they were thousands of miles away. I felt alone. I felt lost and really could not turn to anyone when I was stuck in my room in Los Angeles, just empty. I did talk for my sister for a bit but I did not want her to hear my pain so I cut her off short. I really felt like I could not reach out to anyone because crying out for help in my part I did not think would work. These other people I thought who were my friends did it, and I was there for them in a heartbeat. Divorces, relationship break ups, surgery in the hospital, my ass was there the minute they needed it. But when a family member was sick or a death in the family occurs, I did not have anyone. Alone.
With the fallout of the fakes I traveled a lot more. I been to places I never thought I’d go or wouldn’t have thought I would make an effort to go to. I went skydiving to release it all out, I tried to go to exotic places to just get my mind at ease and to just clear it. I’m doing races for breast cancer in honor of my sister not only to raise money but to raise awareness for women and men to get checked. It helped a lot. But my blood boils and anxiety occurs when I think of it until this day. But it’s ok because I didn’t realize how much of a stronger person I am today than I was last year. I’m a very sensitive person, I put my heart into everything and I got used. I just have to fight the pain in order to get through it. The pain emotional pain that I go through is nothing of the pain that my sister and my cousin and even my cousin went through. Your relationship break ups is nothing.
So this day, a year older, I do have amazing family friends and I still count. I keep telling myself that I don’t need that many friends or even any friends at all. If you followed me on here and see what I’ve done, I did everything alone, independent. I’m more wise than I was last year. Besides I have friends internationally that I still keep in touch with. So when I’m at home I do my own thing. I get things done, try to stay healthy, do 10Ks try to help raise awareness for cancer, and save my energy to travel and see the world. That’s my therapy. So my birthday was intimate, with close friends with laughs and just fun. Followed by the 10K race the Saturday after, then flew off to Mexico for a week where I met some great people out there. I’m very social so it is no problem for me to go out there and make more friends, but at my age I just don’t have that energy anymore. I still have people that I can count on. However my guard is still up and my trust in people is very limited and I proceed with caution, even with my close friends now, I’m still working on that. Family is always first, and if i don’t have friends. That’s fine. I’ll still continue doing what I’m doing. Trying to make a difference, travel, and at least inspire and bring a smile to peoples face. Happy Birthday.
With a rough couple of months, I finally came at ease. With a new year, a new age, it’s time to make changes for the better. I’ve learned to let go, move on, and realize the finer things in life. At 33, I’m blessed with loved ones that know the meaning of LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, and LOYALTY.
I decided to treat myself for a birthday trip. Originally I was supposed to head to the Caribbean but things had to take a different turn because of vacation time. So I was able to book a last minute trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. When you have that feeling, take it, and pass it on.
The snow melts, the sun slowly comes out and Love is in the air. With Valentine’s Day just a couple of days away I’m going to give you my personal top cities around the world where Cupid and myself can point you in the same direction of his arrow.
“Peace is a precious gift
which must be promoted and protected…
Never has the use of violence brought peace in its wake.
War begets war, violence begets violence”
I just got back from Paris a little less than a month ago. Because of how much I love this city, I went Looking through photos and videos from my vacation and I put a little video together from my little trip as well as my family members and friends photos from when they went in the past. My heart goes to Paris and I pray for world Peace. #PRAYFORPARIS
I took a couple of head shots while I was in Paris because I wanted to. The rich history and beauty of this city made me want to do this. With being one of the most popular cites in this world and a high fashion market, I wanted to pretend I was in a magazine. My roommate told me that I literally looked like I was in a GQ spread. Hey, sometime you have to have it get to your ego just to boost your self confidence, right? Hope you like them. Enjoy 🙂
I got off the metro not knowing where to go. The Concierge at the hotel told me to get off of Châtelet because that is the middle of everywhere in the city. There were about thousands of people at the metro station when I got off. As I went up the escalator it was a complete maze. Everything stated in French. It almost reminded me of Penn Station in NYC, but at least I understood what the signs meant. Thanks to my senior year in high school, I visited Montreal with my Student Government group and I remember “Sortie” which means exit. So I followed the “Sortie” signs and the sign that looks like a guy running eager to get out (coincidence). As I looked lost, a beautiful young African girl with a french accent asked me if I needed help. And I asked her “where do I go?” She pointed in a direction and said “continuer” which meant “keep moving.” So I went that direction and was turning left, turning right, going up the stairs, and down an escalator, I finally saw daylight. The smell of fresh air and cigarette smoke was very appealing to me compared to the common urine smell inside any typical metro or train station.
By the time I got outdoors, I had no idea where to go. I was still lost. it was like any typical city. I’ve been to a lot of the major cities in the U.S. and grew up in San Francisco, so walking out of the metro station was typical for me compared to walking out of the BART station on Embarcadero when I used to work for the radio station. But it’s different when everything is in a different language other than english, and especially when you do not know where you are. Back at the hotel, the Concierge offered to hand me a map, but I declined only because I wanted to figure my way around. Same thing happened in Madrid, I did not want a map, and I got lost there which was great. I prefer to walk around in a city I have never been to and get lost because I know I can figure my way around, and eventually get back to where I started. Because at that starting point, you know that you were never lost after all. Especially in a beautiful city like Madrid.
So I continued my way around the city, and my goal was to reach that famous landmark everyone keeps talking about. I figured all I need to do was look up and I could see what I wanted to see in a distance. It was stated that it was the tallest landmark in the world until 1930 when the Chrysler Building in New York City was built. I continued walking a couple of blocks but I really couldn’t see much with taller buildings and overcast skies with temperatures about 12 degrees Celsius, I was hoping that clouds and fog would not cover it but there weren’t that many sky scrapers to tell if tall buildings were covered by fog. About 10 minutes later I finally saw it, so I headed that direction in a rapid movement.
BALL SO HARD I’M SHOCKED TOO
I’M SUPPOSED TO BE LOCKED UP TOO
YOU ESCAPED WHAT I’VE ESCAPED
YOU’D BE IN PARIS GETTING F***ED UP TOO
every summer has its own story…
family will be there when you need them the most…
family where life begins and never ends…
as we grow up we don’t lose friends we just see who our real ones are…
you win some you lose some
i thought i was losing, but i gained a whole lot more
SANITY – DIGNITY – SELF LOVE
(and i’m still dancing …)