I was passing by my old stomping grounds where I used to work. I ran into an old colleague of mine who was giving me updates on how things were going and finding out the latest gossip. Our discussion led to another former colleague and how a neighbor of his found him dead just about 5 days after his actual death. His neighbor was curious why she wasn’t seeing him while doing her normal routine where they would cross paths daily even if it was to step out of the house to get the mail. I assume they would see each other everyday and talk. He lived alone about an hour away. He had no family or kids and lived by himself. I was told another colleague posted photos of the two of them on social media about a month later. The neighbor saw those tagged posts and reached out to her to tell her the story. Then it got back to his employer. It happened to be that he wasn’t showing up to work with no one realizing his situation and not knowing what was going on in his personal life. He passed away just shy of Christmas of 2021. Everyone at his job, former colleagues I used to work with, didn’t find out about his death until late February of 2022. 


I went to Aruba on Valentine’s Day. I treated myself to a trip onto the island because I  would hear people rave about how amazing the island is. Since I was living in Los Angeles the only place I would normally fly to for a quick exotic getaway or even to work was Hawaii, but that became overrated to me. Because of COVID it is more difficult to just get on a plane and travel across the world so I have not gone international. Don’t get me wrong, I love Hawaii. I used to consider relocating and living there. However I needed a change, so I decided to head to Aruba. 

The minute I walked out of the airport in Aruba there was a sign that said “Aruba One Happy Island.” As I felt the warmth of the sun beaming on my face and the humidity breeze through my hair I knew I was happy to be there. The driver and staff at the resort where I stayed were by far the most friendly people I’ve come across in most destinations I would stay or have a layover in. I really enjoyed what this island offered. The beach and blue bath water a very brisk feel jumping in after being toasted from the 90 degree humid weather. The flavor of both food and drinks were in unison to that island feel. This island will give you the vacation of a lifetime when you visit. And I felt that happiness being there. 

I decided to take a walk around town while the sun was setting after a long afternoon of being at the beach. I then noticed that the Valentine’s Day setting was beginning to kick in. The tone of it all was at every corner and building you pass by. As I went to have dinner at an Italian restaurant across from the resort there was a singer performing the tune of Ed Sheerans hit “Thinking Out Loud.” And that’s when an emotion of heart break, loneliness came knowing I was by myself in a beautiful happy island eating fine food with a glass of wine by my side. I’m used to traveling alone. I’ve gone almost around the world solo, but this time it was hitting me, it was different. I was all by myself. 

After dinner I walked around the town. I cut into a corner with a couple holding hands with the girl’s head on her, maybe, boyfriend, fiancée or husband’s shoulder. There was a group of friends just hanging out making jokes at the side which almost looked like a bachelorette party. And behind me a family with the father giving out gelato to his kids that he just purchased from the food truck look alike across the way, seeing all this while a violinist playing Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” At that point I never felt so lonely. I was alone on the happy island. 

I was ready to go back home to Los Angeles since I did start feeling that loneliness when I was in Aruba and I was already tired, jet lagged and dreaming about sleeping in my own bed. I did enjoy my time in Aruba. The island was small, beautiful, quiet, just about perfect if you wanted a vacation. On my flight home I realized that I would go back to my regular routine. I would wake up early in the morning with that cup of coffee in my favorite Versace Mug, read emails, browse online and seeing what kind of houses I can possibly buy if I can even afford one since I’m somewhat house hunting, check work schedules in case I wanted to work to pick up a shift with overtime offerings and more pay, hit the gym, catch up on what I call “trashy television” which is the typical reality shows I watch daily such as the Housewives Franchise and Love and Hip-Hop shows which I waited every week for the new episode,  or even old episodes of Jersey Shore. However, I would have no one to go home to, an empty back house that I was renting out. I have a great group of friends back at home, an amazing support system. But their typical lives consist of their own families and kids, their loved ones, the majority of them having to take their kids to soccer basketball practice or swimming lessons everyday, friends being in a committed relationship, friends just getting pregnant, friends running their own businesses, each in which had little time of a social life for any of them. Me, on the other hand, had so much time on my hands that I caught myself doing a lot of things on my own and people rarely even reached out to me other than a lot of my family that lives hundreds of miles away. But my closest friends were all so busy with their own lives they just had little time. I didn’t want to be a burden or interrupt anyone. So what was the point in me going back home to Los Angeles when I felt at the time there was nothing to go home to, no family or kids . All I had was my work, but I can easily pack my bags and work elsewhere. Was I even happy to go back home even though I was already going to feel lonely being back? Maybe I should go back to Aruba, the happy island, and try to find that happiness just like the driver and resort workers were expressing how happy the people in that island are. But if I were to go back it would make me more depressed maybe because I was there on Valentine’s Day, single, unlike everyone I know who’s in a committed relationship or married. I even considered moving to Hawaii like I originally thought I wanted to do because it did make me happy going there as well, so I might as well live there. But either way I would just feel lonely again. At that point I was just confused and lost. 

My birthday is coming up and every year I try to celebrate as big as I can. But this year is different. I did not know what I wanted to do and I told my close friends I’m not celebrating it this year. But maybe I would try and give it a shot. Two of my friends and I went to different spots to check out possible venues. What I usually do for my birthday is I would have dinner and find a small little venue afterwards that played good music since I love to get down on the dance floor. My plan originally was I wanted my birthday to look like the “Despacito” video and I did manage to find a location in Hollywood that has a live salsa band certain nights of the week but they weren’t going to have the band play the day of my birthday. Instead they were scheduled to play the day before, which won’t be as special because it’s not on my actual birthday, they would be closed. So I changed my mind to having dinner, but all restaurants in Los Angeles County would not hold 10 people or more due to COVID restrictions as they were easing. Even at a particular restaurant in Beverly Hills I wanted to have my dinner but couldn’t for the same reasons. At that point I was disappointed and I gave up because it wasn’t how I pictured my birthday to be. So I didn’t want to celebrate and felt it wasn’t meant to happen. As much as a lot of my loved ones wanted to celebrate with me I wasn’t feeling it. Part of me also questioned why would all my friends want to finally stop what they do with their busy schedules for my birthday, and I didn’t want to interrupt anyones daily routines because I would feel bad, even if it’s only dinner.  I felt so spoiled in having a great celebration but I don’t know what got to me. I wanted to go back to being alone and not being around anyone. It felt normal to me and that’s how I wanted to spend another year in my life. I wanted to be alone. 

Past couple of months I’ve been depressed. I found myself being alone at home not leaving all day stuck in my room in the dark. The only time I actually would get out of bed is to grab something small to eat, make coffee or even use the restroom. And this would be almost 2-3 consecutive days of not getting out of my own bed. I even called off sick from work because I didn’t want to be around anyone. At that moment when I was in Aruba on Valentine’s Day, I began to notice that all the anxiety I was holding for a really long time was now taking a toll on me. Depression hit me hard and it comes and goes until now. I was in so much denial. So I finally got treated and sought professional help which made me realize that I’m not alone. I have a good support system of family and friends which helps, but I always knew they were by my side. Even the therapist mentioned I’m not alone, well maybe because that’s her job.  But that alone feeling and depression is still there and I’m working on it. 

I look back to when I went to Aruba. Even though it was a little less than two days being there, I really felt some sense of light regardless of how alone I felt. While I came across this little dive bar in Aruba they were playing latin reggaetón music and all of a sudden “Despacito” started playing. A Light skinned tall attractive young girl named Kiara asked me to dance. She had to be at least in her early mid twenties. So I went ahead and danced since I did mention I love to get down on the dance floor. I asked her where she was from and she stated she was a local. I remember how that conversation went. 

Me: So where are you from? 

Kiara: Puerto Rico but I live in Aruba. 

Me: if you’re from PR (Puerto Rico) why did you move to Aruba?

Kiara: I’m so much happier here. I love it In Aruba 

Kiara and I had that moment and only danced to the song and that was the end of it. I have been to Puerto Rico and I love it out there. I never really asked or told her anything else after she told me she was happier in Aruba other than thanks for inviting me to dance with her. But seeing her being happy made my night. She was living her best life. 

As my birthday is approaching I still have no idea what I want to do. I’m turning 39. What am I supposed to do at that age? Am I happy that my birthday is coming up? Yeah sure but I don’t plan on celebrating it like the “Despacito” video or having dinner at a fancy restaurant in Beverly Hills. Maybe I can go back to Aruba but I feel it would be dejavu seeing people in love and families enjoying the island while that violinist or singer performs. Although, it wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day, it would be my birthday. Am I happy with my life? Am I still depressed? Those are difficult questions to answer but I know that I have a lot to work on. That’s why I’m getting the help that I need. But the question is, am I happy? A friend of mine told me that whatever my feelings are I have a lot to be grateful for, and she’s absolutely right. I don’t need to move to Hawaii to become happy. And I don’t think I’m as happy as those people In Aruba or how happy Kiara is but I know I’m grateful. 

I remember working with my former coworker who recently passed away. He used to walk into work and briefly, or not at all, greet everyone. I would have small conversations but that would be it and we would go about our work day, it was always the same thing with him. When I would try to hold a conversation he would brush me off and walk away and I let it be. But no one knew what he was going through. On the outside he looked fine but was he in pain? Depressed? Alone? From what I heard his daily routine consisted of going to work and coming home to an empty house but that was all hearsay from the talks from my former colleague. No one really knew what his lifestyle was like. However from what I heard It seemed Similar to mine but was he feeling the same way I did? I felt Some sort of connection from what I was hearing. You never really know what someone is going through. Maybe if he were to step onto a happy island to get out of their daily routine, he would have realized that something was wrong and he needed to fix it. Aruba and Hawaii are both islands but they were different, i stepped out of my routine, and it made me realize something wasn’t right with me. If only he was able to get that help I’m now getting, where would he be today? At such a young age he was gone too soon. But The one thing almost everyone I know told me when feeling down, lonely, alone, depressed that I wished someone would have told him is that “YOU ARE NOT ALONE!”


I had the opportunity to go to Puerto Vallarta Mexico to check out how they celebrate DIA DE LOS MUERTOS. They celebrate their version of “Halloween” for more than a day, compared to how the Americans do it. A weekend long filled with parades festivals and folklore performances of music and dance. It’s more a celebration of life of the loved ones and the nations celebrities and known names who’ve also passed. During Dia De Los Muertos, which the official date is November 2nd, many people would go to cemetery’s where loved ones were buried and being their favorite food drink as well as presents in belief that they would come and join them in their afterlife. Their culture would also make altars of their photos and color decorate it with memorabilia as well as their favorite foods which would include a lot of bread fruit and alcoholic drinks which you could see being set up on the streets of Mexico.

Thanks to the Disney Pixar Movie COCO for inspiring me in being a part of beautiful celebration of life. Makes us Americans looks really bad celebrating Halloween. Lol.






I know I haven’t blogged in so long but I thought I would share this heart felt story to you and the entire world. What I love about what I do is that I get to be up close and personal with the customers that fly on the planes. Prior, I wasn’t able to do it as much, I meant I could, but it wasn’t as personal nor did not have the opportunity to get to know the people, and when I did, it was with little time, because I was always pressured working on the ground that I had no time. And most of you that know me very well, I’m a huge people person and I love to meet new people. Being a flight attendant i’m able to do that.

Last week with my flight crew, I was sitting in the gate area in New York on our way to St. Louis, the flight we were working. We met a family from Pennsylvania who was traveling all the way to Little Rock. There was a grandmother, mother, and a little guy named Rocco, who was 7 years. The mother kept telling how she admired what we do and how heart warming flight attendants are, which was comforting. We obliged, appreciated the thought. We then asked where they were headed, and they stated that they were taking Rocco to have surgery. There was a specialist in Little Rock that they would go see to treat his AVM (arteriovenous malformationthat he has on his lip. This would be his 12th surgery at only 7 years old, which made my heart drop.
While on the plane I had conversations with them, and Rocco happened to be a HUGE 49er fan, which I am. We did not talk much about his surgery the next day but from the looks of it he was ready, calm and a warrior going into it.
As much as I wanted to do more and help the family out I was able to do little gestures for him. I had this lighted pen that I bought because when I usually take orders on the plane and couldn’t see, I would use that pen. I gave that to him, and he loved it. He was able to take photos in the flight deck with the pilots and got to see what’s up there. I also got along with the family very well, his grandmother, Carol, and I were making jokes and having fun conversation while in the air.
We were running late going to St. Louis from New York, and because of that they had to change planes in St. Louis and had little time to connect on their way to Little Rock. Long story short, they made it to Little Rock.
Before the flight reached St. Louis and we had to go our separate ways I exchanged email addresses and hospital information with the mother, Amy. Rocco was treated at the Arkansas Children’s hospital in Little Rock. I called the hospital the next day and was able to send him a little gift the gift shop chose for me.
Amy emailed me two days later and mentioned to me that his surgery was a successful one and Rocco is recovering very well.
I know I’m not a healer, or could not donate a lot of money or time in the world, but being able to do the littlest things and getting to know the people that fly can truly make someones day, it for sure can make mine. Even though Rocco’s surgery was successful, he still has the road ahead for recovery and hopefully is healed from such a disease. I ask that each and everyone one of you pray for my new friends Rocco and his family. Thanks for letting me share this.


click HERE to learn more about Rocco and AVM and ROCCOS WISH 


The past year my mentality was ruined, I was depressed, and I needed to change everything around. I’ve been on a little dry spell when it came to traveling internationally so i needed somewhere to go. I was talking to a friend of mine and I told her that I wanted to go somewhere quick. She gave me two options. So I decided on Milan, Italy. But going to Milan made it more difficult for me to head out that way so I needed another option. My mind was still on Italy so I chose to go to Rome.
I’ve been to Rome before and I had a blast. However it was only one full day at that time, and a friend that went with us basically, well let’s just say that friendship no longer exists. This time around I got to spend 4 days in ROMA, and I was able to take it all in. My cousin who now resides in Berlin came to meet up with me for a full day which made it worth while since I haven’t seen him in about a year since we only have a text and social media relationship. I went more on his itinerary which was perfectly fine since he had so little time to spend. What better way of catching up and seeing family in Rome.
This second time around I was able to walk around Rome by foot. And if you’ve been, it was NOT easy. The city is huge, and yes I did walk around most of the time. The majority is made up of ancient ruins and ancient churches which the Colosseum and the Vatican are probably the most famous known landmarks in the world.
I’m not big on history, but I love reading and learning about it because this is why this world is where it is in the present. I’m not going to go too much on it and i’m no history geek, but from my understanding a lot of european history came from the rise and fall of the roman empire. But from what I know Ancient Rome controlled most of Europe as far as up to the middle east. But with a lot of taxes and border control it became more difficult to govern which is why the split of the western and eastern empire. Different empires, Christianity became big, migration, Barbarian invasion, which lead to the Fall of Rome. Because of the fall of the Roman empire, the city of Rome would not become so enriching of it’s history and why this city is probably one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
When it came to visiting Rome my second time around I looked back on the past couple of years. Two years ago, I had this travel bug, and wanted to go everywhere, so I started “Ray Takes Over The World” since I wanted to title my travel life and blog about it. But traveling became so much more than just wanting to go out and explore, it became therapy. And if you kept up with my blog, a year ago it became addicting. And I did not want to have to wait on people so I decided to start traveling solo. With dealing with having no one to really turn to and a loss in the family I just wanted to keep getting away knowing that it wasn’t real, but it was. One of the many aspects we have to deal with life and we learn from them.
We travel to get away from reality but it started turning into coming into terms of life and who I am. I got to see my cousin who I truly adore and never get to see because we’re on opposite sides of the globe. But when he left I was on my own for 2 days. Family is always first. When you travel alone in a different city, you go home becoming stronger and looking at life differently in a better way. My mentality became somewhat ruin and Rome consists of many ancient ruins, which is a gift and a road to transformation. Just like the fall of the Roman empire, the city still went on and if you haven’t been but seen pictures, then there are no words to describe. I’m still working on myself. I’m living my life as if it was the last day. Every act I do I try to make it the last act. And what i’ve learned is I need to take a moment to pause and remember who I am and taking the time to reflect on things that have real and lasting meaning in my life. And that’s what “Ray Takes Over The World” has done for me. Still Doing Me …
*thank you everyone for allowing me to share my journey with you. Grazie – Amore*




The minute the clock strikes midnight morning of March 8, my phone blows up with text messages and even a call from my parents. I didn’t answer or even reply back, and just put my phone on silent so I can at least get some sleep. This year hasn’t been the greatest and all I wanted was to get my 10k run for the Susan G Komen race for the cure that was coming up that weekend, which I signed up for months prior, otherwise I would’ve been somewhere exotic the day of my birthday so I can spend it alone.

A year ago I had a huge birthday. I planned it big. I flew people I had close ties with from around the country to celebrate with. I was surrounded by people who I thought were my friends. Since it fell on a Sunday, I had that typical Los Angeles “Sunday Funday” where you would go have brunch and needed that mimosa or bloody mary for pre-game, followed by a club lounge that had a DJ and of course plenty of drinks that was being handed to me without hesitation. I’ve always pictured a huge birthday, and that’s how I planned it last year. But little did I know, more than half of these people that came to my birthday last year I do not even talk to anymore. I had to purposely cut them off due to certain circumstances, however I did briefly mention is in previous blogs. I realized that these people were fake to begin with, artificial, and only wanted to become friends to get what they want. Because of this I started to lose trust and became a little depressed, not because of losing them as friends but because of how the situation occurred. When one person likes to brain wash other people and use them as minions, then that is fine. Go ahead and be a follower and live that way.

Within this year, my sister’s cancer did come back and luckily everything turned out ok. However, my cousin passed away Christmas night. Long story short they found a tumor in her brain, went into operation and doctors messed up. It took a toll on my family, especially during the holidays. Heartbreaking on how much I really wanted to be there for them when I couldn’t because they were thousands of miles away. I felt alone. I felt lost and really could not turn to anyone when I was stuck in my room in Los Angeles, just empty. I did talk for my sister for a bit but I did not want her to hear my pain so I cut her off short. I really felt like I could not reach out to anyone because crying out for help in my part I did not think would work. These other people I thought who were my friends did it, and I was there for them in a heartbeat. Divorces, relationship break ups, surgery in the hospital, my ass was there the minute they needed it. But when a family member was sick or a death in the family occurs, I did not have anyone. Alone.

With the fallout of the fakes I traveled a lot more. I been to places I never thought I’d go or wouldn’t have thought I would make an effort to go to. I went skydiving to release it all out, I tried to go to exotic places to just get my mind at ease and to just clear it. I’m doing races for breast cancer in honor of my sister not only to raise money but to raise awareness for women and men to get checked. It helped a lot. But my blood boils and anxiety occurs when I think of it until this day. But it’s ok because I didn’t realize how much of a stronger person I am today than I was last year. I’m a very sensitive person, I put my heart into everything and I got used. I just have to fight the pain in order to get through it. The pain emotional pain that I go through is nothing of the pain that my sister and my cousin and even my cousin went through. Your relationship break ups is nothing.

So this day, a year older, I do have amazing family friends and I still count. I keep telling myself that I don’t need that many friends or even any friends at all. If you followed me on here and see what I’ve done, I did everything alone, independent. I’m more wise than I was last year. Besides I have friends internationally that I still keep in touch with. So when I’m at home I do my own thing. I get things done, try to stay healthy, do 10Ks try to help raise awareness for cancer, and save my energy to travel and see the world. That’s my therapy. So my birthday was intimate, with close friends with laughs and just fun. Followed by the 10K race the Saturday after, then flew off to Mexico for a week where I met some great people out there. I’m very social so it is no problem for me to go out there and make more friends, but at my age I just don’t have that energy anymore. I still have people that I can count on. However my guard is still up and my trust in people is very limited and I proceed with caution, even with my close friends now, I’m still working on that. Family is always first, and if i don’t have friends. That’s fine. I’ll still continue doing what I’m doing. Trying to make a difference, travel, and at least inspire and bring a smile to peoples face. Happy Birthday.

Birthday Dinner

Susan G Komen Race For The Cure LOS ANGELES










With a rough couple of months, I finally came at ease. With a new year, a new age, it’s time to make changes for the better. I’ve learned to let go, move on, and realize the finer things in life. At 33, I’m blessed with loved ones that know the meaning of LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, and LOYALTY.

I decided to treat myself for a birthday trip. Originally I was supposed to head to the Caribbean but things had to take a different turn because of vacation time. So I was able to book a last minute trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. When you have that feeling, take it, and pass it on.