The minute the clock strikes midnight morning of March 8, my phone blows up with text messages and even a call from my parents. I didn’t answer or even reply back, and just put my phone on silent so I can at least get some sleep. This year hasn’t been the greatest and all I wanted was to get my 10k run for the Susan G Komen race for the cure that was coming up that weekend, which I signed up for months prior, otherwise I would’ve been somewhere exotic the day of my birthday so I can spend it alone.

A year ago I had a huge birthday. I planned it big. I flew people I had close ties with from around the country to celebrate with. I was surrounded by people who I thought were my friends. Since it fell on a Sunday, I had that typical Los Angeles “Sunday Funday” where you would go have brunch and needed that mimosa or bloody mary for pre-game, followed by a club lounge that had a DJ and of course plenty of drinks that was being handed to me without hesitation. I’ve always pictured a huge birthday, and that’s how I planned it last year. But little did I know, more than half of these people that came to my birthday last year I do not even talk to anymore. I had to purposely cut them off due to certain circumstances, however I did briefly mention is in previous blogs. I realized that these people were fake to begin with, artificial, and only wanted to become friends to get what they want. Because of this I started to lose trust and became a little depressed, not because of losing them as friends but because of how the situation occurred. When one person likes to brain wash other people and use them as minions, then that is fine. Go ahead and be a follower and live that way.

Within this year, my sister’s cancer did come back and luckily everything turned out ok. However, my cousin passed away Christmas night. Long story short they found a tumor in her brain, went into operation and doctors messed up. It took a toll on my family, especially during the holidays. Heartbreaking on how much I really wanted to be there for them when I couldn’t because they were thousands of miles away. I felt alone. I felt lost and really could not turn to anyone when I was stuck in my room in Los Angeles, just empty. I did talk for my sister for a bit but I did not want her to hear my pain so I cut her off short. I really felt like I could not reach out to anyone because crying out for help in my part I did not think would work. These other people I thought who were my friends did it, and I was there for them in a heartbeat. Divorces, relationship break ups, surgery in the hospital, my ass was there the minute they needed it. But when a family member was sick or a death in the family occurs, I did not have anyone. Alone.

With the fallout of the fakes I traveled a lot more. I been to places I never thought I’d go or wouldn’t have thought I would make an effort to go to. I went skydiving to release it all out, I tried to go to exotic places to just get my mind at ease and to just clear it. I’m doing races for breast cancer in honor of my sister not only to raise money but to raise awareness for women and men to get checked. It helped a lot. But my blood boils and anxiety occurs when I think of it until this day. But it’s ok because I didn’t realize how much of a stronger person I am today than I was last year. I’m a very sensitive person, I put my heart into everything and I got used. I just have to fight the pain in order to get through it. The pain emotional pain that I go through is nothing of the pain that my sister and my cousin and even my cousin went through. Your relationship break ups is nothing.

So this day, a year older, I do have amazing family friends and I still count. I keep telling myself that I don’t need that many friends or even any friends at all. If you followed me on here and see what I’ve done, I did everything alone, independent. I’m more wise than I was last year. Besides I have friends internationally that I still keep in touch with. So when I’m at home I do my own thing. I get things done, try to stay healthy, do 10Ks try to help raise awareness for cancer, and save my energy to travel and see the world. That’s my therapy. So my birthday was intimate, with close friends with laughs and just fun. Followed by the 10K race the Saturday after, then flew off to Mexico for a week where I met some great people out there. I’m very social so it is no problem for me to go out there and make more friends, but at my age I just don’t have that energy anymore. I still have people that I can count on. However my guard is still up and my trust in people is very limited and I proceed with caution, even with my close friends now, I’m still working on that. Family is always first, and if i don’t have friends. That’s fine. I’ll still continue doing what I’m doing. Trying to make a difference, travel, and at least inspire and bring a smile to peoples face. Happy Birthday.

Birthday Dinner
Susan G Komen Race For The Cure LOS ANGELES









With a rough couple of months, I finally came at ease. With a new year, a new age, it’s time to make changes for the better. I’ve learned to let go, move on, and realize the finer things in life. At 33, I’m blessed with loved ones that know the meaning of LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, and LOYALTY.

I decided to treat myself for a birthday trip. Originally I was supposed to head to the Caribbean but things had to take a different turn because of vacation time. So I was able to book a last minute trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. When you have that feeling, take it, and pass it on.

A Bumpy Road


Another year has passed, and all I can say is…2015 was a bitch. It was a bumpy ride, literally and metaphorically. But when I look back and reflect on how my year went, I managed through it. You might’ve had worse or you may think it was nothing for me, but we all have different experiences in life that makes you stronger in the long run. Two of my loved ones got the bumpy ride as well. One battled, but one lost. As for me, I battled and also had bumps along the way, but I went into fifth gear and rode it out.

I was on my way home from Cancun making a connecting flight in Texas. I received a text message from my sister after passing through customs asking me when I was returning and to call her as soon as possible. When I spoke to her she told me her lymph node came back while vacationing. She lost her voice with a fever while her and her family was out celebrating the long Memorial Day Weekend. After a couple of biopsies and tests, they found a bump and said it needed to be removed. When I got off the phone with her, I was letting my heart out. Tears of pain and confusion occurred and people at the waiting area at the gate were asking me questions of comfort while I was waiting to board my flight back to Los Angeles. Even the Flight crew comforted me giving me alcohol, water anything to make me feel better, but I kept it all in. I didn’t know how to respond to people after a great getaway which ended my trip finding out about my sisters condition. Five years ago the same situation occurred and the pain she had to go through effected my family and didn’t want to see her go through this again. Doctors appointments and another surgery date was scheduled for mid summer, July to be exact.

I had planned on going on another vacation, a getaway the same time my sister was scheduled to get her lump removed. That bump needed to go. Prior to Cancun, I knew when I returned I would have to get with a friend of mine who planned this trip to Miami. I go to Miami maybe twice a year. I love that city, that is pretty much my second home. But at this point, what am I supposed to do? What would you do? Should I go to my sister and be with her while she gets her lymph node removed, or do I still enjoy my time in Miami? What is the smart thing to do? Ideally I would love to go to Miami. Coming back from Cancun, and going to Miami once or twice a year, it’s the obvious. My friend sent me a text asking if we can plan and go over trip details for Miami. But when I told her I couldn’t because of my sisters condition she was upset. A day later she calls and yells at me over the phone saying “how rude and inconsiderate I was” for not communicating with the rest of the group and not giving everyone else a heads up. I’m sorry, what difference does it make? I’m not going into other details about that conversation and situation because it boils my blood. After I spoke with the rudeness over the phone, I felt like my sister and the rest of my family was disrespected just because she was more worried about the trip to Miami over my sisters condition. Why yell at me because I’m cancelling out on a trip I would’ve LOVED to go to. Her reasons? Ask the people that were my friends, the ones that do not talk to me anymore, because her side of the story was believable and brain washing. None of them had reached out heard my side of the story, or even wished my sister the best. The other thing, the ones I introduced her to listened to her, and did not bother to reach out to me. MY FRIENDS, not hers. After these peoples relationship breakups, difficult everyday life challenges that I was there for, they did not want to be considerate, reach out to me, be there for me when I needed someone for comfort when I was scared for my sister. Her selfishness got the best of her, and everyone that I thought who had my back fell for it. My trust was lost after the disloyalty of these so called friends of mine. This whole entire time I was aquatinted with them was all a fake, plastic, non existent, time wasted. The list goes on.

During this Christmas season, I found out my cousin was in a coma. They found a tumor in her brain. The surgery did not become successful. Apparently the Doctors who operated on her brain mistakenly did something wrong. It resulted in a coma. My cousin did not make it. Christmas night I received a call from my sister and aunt at work saying that my cousin passed away. I was at the work when I received the news trying to hold it all in. As I walked out of work, I was pouring my eyes out. I knew that my cousin had a bump in her brain, but did not know that she actually went into the whole surgical process until my cousin gave me a call. I thought about my sisters situation. If the surgery didn’t go well that first time around, who would have known what happened. I can’t live without my sister, let alone my own family. God had made the decision, and this was it.


There are a lot of bumps in this road and there are ways that you just need to figure out how to get rid of them. My sisters lymph node is still there. Luckily the week before she was scheduled to go to surgery, her results were looking positive and she needed to follow doctors orders to prevent it from getting worse. Unfortunately, for my cousin, she’s playing with the Angels. In life, we find bumps in the road, we either drive over them, or they’re in the way. For me, I’m still trying to get rid of the bumps and I’m currently eliminating them. I got rid of most of them. Those are the people that I’m losing trust in, but I stepped on the gas to get over it. It does suck that I lost these people that I thought were my friends, but they were never my friends to begin with. We all go through it.

That was 2015 for me. When I think about this year, I look ahead on how I want 2016 to be. I figured, let me just get through the year day by day. No New Years resolutions. The bumps that were in my way to begin with, I learned that I just have to fly by them. As a result in all this in 2015, I was able to travel more with not one thing to hold me down. Cancun, Madrid, Puerto Vallarta, Paris all in a couple of months. 60000 miles total travelled. And I checked off something big on my bucket list. Am I going to do the same thing in 2016? Probably. But like I said I’m taking it day by day. And if there any bumps in the way, get rid of it. How? You’ll know. I did.

I love you Ate. And to cousin Danelle, may you rest in peace. Play safe with the Angels. ❤


Christmas Taking a Different Turn

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It’s that time of year. Christmas is the season of giving. Or that is what has been told to many. Gatherings, being with loved ones, and being jolly and having a grand ole time. So the other day I decided to have a little gathering of my own. I reached out to the people I had a special relationship, bond with that I hold in a special place in my heart here at home in Los Angeles. Making them brunch while doing a little white elephant gift exchange would be best as well as playing games having mimosas and just listening to Christmas music was very ideal and picturesque. I made special invites specifically for them to join me and they all accepted. I planned the entire two weeks for it from that point up until the planned Christmas Brunch Date. Little that I know the day took a turn.


My friend from San Francisco was coming into town to join the Christmas brunch date I planned. So I had to get my place ready. Throughout the week I bought little prizes that I put in gift bags to give to winners of these little games along with gift cards to Target, Coffee Bean and Trader Joes which I thought was adorable to give, along with little incentives on the side. As I was getting that ready and setting up the decorations, I was going to cook for my friends after picking up my friend at the airport. While doing all this, I received a text message from her saying that her plane was on a mechanical and that she would arrive an hour late. She asked if she still should come, but I told her, “Yes please do, because I want to see you” through a text message, since I haven’t seen her in a while. Besides, her and I were going to do the cooking and put a little mini concert for my friends at the end of the little soiree I planned, so I needed her. But, could this have been the start of a bad day? Well, I put that mind setting on the side and thought “alright, well let me get things started and prepare the food for cooking just in case people started showing up. I had vegan scones and potatoes I planned on making for my vegan friends that were coming. I had a rotisserie chicken I planned on glazing, side salads and fruits as well as 3 bottles of champagne ready to pop with strawberries in the mimosas on trays ready for my guests as they walked into the door. Plus I had the mistletoe hanging above the door I had ready to kiss my guests as they walked in, as a joke to both male and females, (LOL!). However, while prepping up I was getting a text that one forgot, so he wanted to relax. One down, no big deal. Another said she also forgot, Great!. And another had family issues she needed to deal with. It’s ok, Family First!. Another friend didn’t feel well so she could not make it, but that is ok, keeping good health is a must. Little did I know, as I was on my way to the airport to pick up my friend, I did not hear from everyone else, so no one showed up. The only ones that ended up showing up was my friend from San Francisco as well as a close companion of mine who is really good friends with my roommate who showed up with a white elephant gift at hand. In all honesty, I was heartbroken. With the year I’ve had, I just felt empty, like i had no one except the two that showed up which means a lot. She flew in from San Francisco to join in on the festivity but came to nothing. Although she said, lets have our own brunch, in which the three of us did. So we went on about our day and had a beautiful brunch in Downtown Los Angeles.
As I was heading home from brunch with my two friends, I received a call from my cousin in San Francisco. You know that feeling when your heart drops? Well my heart literally fell out and dropped after this phone call. About a couple of weeks ago around Thanksgiving, my first cousin from the Philippines found a tumor in her brain. To make a long story short, as they operated in getting the tumor out, the doctors supposedly hit a bad artery which caused blood clotting. After two to three tries in trying to get her brain function back to normal, she fell into a coma. It has been told that from the time I received that call from my cousin, that she only had a certain amount of time which was count down to hours to live. Remember how I said I felt empty, well this was when I really felt empty, cold, and depressed inside. My sister just had to go through the same situation, and to hear that my younger cousin is going through it and going into a coma made my heart ache. And to hear that she just got married to her high school sweetheart this past July just made it worse. My aunt is in loss for words. My Grandmother is stressed, let alone, if it were the case to see her grandchild go. What grandparent wants to see that? Especially this time of year, the season of giving, really took a turn in my family. The rest of the day, after dropping my friend back at the airport, i drove along the beach. To just try and clear my mind, but while I was driving there it started to rain. Then I took another turn, and decided to go to church. I felt at this point God needed to hear me. None of my friends showed up to the gathering I planned, so I felt I needed to turn to someone who I knew would be there regardless, and that was God. I cried, I prayed, I sang from my heart, I let it out. The day that went from I thought would’ve been a joyous little gathering turned into a day of mourning. My building mate, came down to see how I was doing. She bought me pizza, poured me a glass of wine and listened to me talk and be by my side. I really needed that. She had no words for me, but all she told me was, “I’m here if you need it and I’m sorry it hasn’t been the greatest year for you.”
I got on the phone with my Aunt, Uncle, Brother, Sister, and Parents just to see how they were doing. I think we were all in shock because we didn’t think that in our own family something so sudden would happen. After all this, with how the day went, I mean, was it even worth it even trying to have a brunch for those that didn’t even show up? I forgive that they didn’t come. Because at the same time, I don’t think I would want them to see my feelings and reactions when I received that call. At that point I think all the energy that I put in trying to make a successful brunch needed to be where it needed the most. Was prepping up to be with family for the holidays. These people are still my friends but it was not worth trying to waste my morning, day, let alone the past weeks in trying to make it a day. I felt horrible, empty, alone, depressed. At that point I wanted to be with family, my grandmother because of her pain. I just wanted to be with those that I needed to give and put the energy to, and that was family.
We all know this is the time of year where it tends to get busy and our minds wander elsewhere. That is the hustle and bustle of the holidays. But after that Sunday, I learned that we just need to appreciate what we have. Appreciate WHO we have. Who is it that you really need to give, put the energy to for this holiday season. Do you really need to buy that $100 present for your loved one? I think just being there for them and giving your heart and your love is what really matters the most. Do you really need all these friends that you tried making an impression for? Are they really your friends? Think about it. I tried making everything perfect for that day. But the day did not even happen. I felt i need to owe something to people, give to people. But I really don’t need to. I think it’s because of the mentality that we all are brainwashed this time of year. I really do love all of my friends, with all my heart. I consider them my loved ones. Family too. And as for my cousin, I pray for the best, wish for a miracle, and sending a lot of my love like I always do to everyone I know. it’s all in God’s hands. Love you Danelle ❤

The Trip Of A Lifetime…

Everyone pretty much knows that I owned it when it came to traveling this year. But the thing is, I OWNED 2015. A lot of it had to do with figuring out who I am, who my real friends are, and who needed me the most. I lost friends, but I gained my self dignity and pride in myself. Yeah it hurts, but I am a lot more happier than I was earlier this year. I had to eliminate a lot of the FAKE, THE PLASTICS, the ones who do not know what is going on for their lives and trying to reach what they THINK they need. For me, I just want to live life, have fun.

I travelled to 3 different countries, 11 cities, which adds up to almost 70,000 miles this year. In all of these places I’ve been to, I think I’ve learned something different about life and myself.
Someone told me that I was full of myself, but at least I love myself.
The ones need LOVE the most are the ones that I give and deserve it. Not the ones that want attention, but need the LOVE. There’s a difference.
When I was out and about dancing in the streets and made 21 euros, you shouldn’t care what people think. Just go out there and do you. When I donated that money to a homeless lady on the street, the ones that need it the most are more appreciative than the ones you know that you tried to be there for when you thought they need it, and then they burn you. Not cool.
You have to trust your own instincts. Trying to figure out the public transportation system in another country is not always the same as your familiarization in your town.
That Britney Spears is doing another residency for another two years in competition with Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey who is coming back for the month of February.
You need those days where you need to reflect, and just need time to meditate and relax. Sometimes you just need to let go of the gas and slow it down a bit because if you’re on overdrive then you’ll heat up. You need time to yourself to cool down from the hustle and bustle and in this crazy world we live in.
When you feel like you’re failing or if you lost, you just have to get up and keep moving. Yeah, I lost the fake friends, but they were fake, plastics, but you’re up and about and you keep moving.
This party town in south beach is always going to be there. Yeah we all have our obstacles that we go through, but there are more important things in life that needed to be done. FAMILY FIRST. If you don’t get it, then you don’t get me.
From all this, the bigger picture, I pretty much learned that I do not owe anything to anyone. The only person I owe something to is myself. You will never satisfy another person. In the long run, if you’re happy with yourself and doing what you love doing, then that is all that matters. Who cares about the fakes, the plastics, they only worry about their superficial lives and the other “artificials.” I really don’t need that many friends, and it is something that I am getting used to with out having what they call now a days a “squad.” But do you really need a group of friends to make you happier in life? I can count as many friends in just one hand and I’m good. And with family by my side, that is all that matters. Besides if you can be independent, then the stronger person you are. I’ve always told people and I have to keep repeating to myself to JUST DO YOU. Keep on going, move forward, because “The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” And that’s what I’m doing.