OLDER but WISER

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PUERTO VALLARTA

 

The minute the clock strikes midnight morning of March 8, my phone blows up with text messages and even a call from my parents. I didn’t answer or even reply back, and just put my phone on silent so I can at least get some sleep. This year hasn’t been the greatest and all I wanted was to get my 10k run for the Susan G Komen race for the cure that was coming up that weekend, which I signed up for months prior, otherwise I would’ve been somewhere exotic the day of my birthday so I can spend it alone.

A year ago I had a huge birthday. I planned it big. I flew people I had close ties with from around the country to celebrate with. I was surrounded by people who I thought were my friends. Since it fell on a Sunday, I had that typical Los Angeles “Sunday Funday” where you would go have brunch and needed that mimosa or bloody mary for pre-game, followed by a club lounge that had a DJ and of course plenty of drinks that was being handed to me without hesitation. I’ve always pictured a huge birthday, and that’s how I planned it last year. But little did I know, more than half of these people that came to my birthday last year I do not even talk to anymore. I had to purposely cut them off due to certain circumstances, however I did briefly mention is in previous blogs. I realized that these people were fake to begin with, artificial, and only wanted to become friends to get what they want. Because of this I started to lose trust and became a little depressed, not because of losing them as friends but because of how the situation occurred. When one person likes to brain wash other people and use them as minions, then that is fine. Go ahead and be a follower and live that way.

Within this year, my sister’s cancer did come back and luckily everything turned out ok. However, my cousin passed away Christmas night. Long story short they found a tumor in her brain, went into operation and doctors messed up. It took a toll on my family, especially during the holidays. Heartbreaking on how much I really wanted to be there for them when I couldn’t because they were thousands of miles away. I felt alone. I felt lost and really could not turn to anyone when I was stuck in my room in Los Angeles, just empty. I did talk for my sister for a bit but I did not want her to hear my pain so I cut her off short. I really felt like I could not reach out to anyone because crying out for help in my part I did not think would work. These other people I thought who were my friends did it, and I was there for them in a heartbeat. Divorces, relationship break ups, surgery in the hospital, my ass was there the minute they needed it. But when a family member was sick or a death in the family occurs, I did not have anyone. Alone.

With the fallout of the fakes I traveled a lot more. I been to places I never thought I’d go or wouldn’t have thought I would make an effort to go to. I went skydiving to release it all out, I tried to go to exotic places to just get my mind at ease and to just clear it. I’m doing races for breast cancer in honor of my sister not only to raise money but to raise awareness for women and men to get checked. It helped a lot. But my blood boils and anxiety occurs when I think of it until this day. But it’s ok because I didn’t realize how much of a stronger person I am today than I was last year. I’m a very sensitive person, I put my heart into everything and I got used. I just have to fight the pain in order to get through it. The pain emotional pain that I go through is nothing of the pain that my sister and my cousin and even my cousin went through. Your relationship break ups is nothing.

So this day, a year older, I do have amazing family friends and I still count. I keep telling myself that I don’t need that many friends or even any friends at all. If you followed me on here and see what I’ve done, I did everything alone, independent. I’m more wise than I was last year. Besides I have friends internationally that I still keep in touch with. So when I’m at home I do my own thing. I get things done, try to stay healthy, do 10Ks try to help raise awareness for cancer, and save my energy to travel and see the world. That’s my therapy. So my birthday was intimate, with close friends with laughs and just fun. Followed by the 10K race the Saturday after, then flew off to Mexico for a week where I met some great people out there. I’m very social so it is no problem for me to go out there and make more friends, but at my age I just don’t have that energy anymore. I still have people that I can count on. However my guard is still up and my trust in people is very limited and I proceed with caution, even with my close friends now, I’m still working on that. Family is always first, and if i don’t have friends. That’s fine. I’ll still continue doing what I’m doing. Trying to make a difference, travel, and at least inspire and bring a smile to peoples face. Happy Birthday.

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Birthday Dinner
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Susan G Komen Race For The Cure LOS ANGELES

 

 

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New AMIGAS in PUERTO VALLARTA

 

 

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Homies in PUERTO VALLARTA.
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crazy SHENANIGANS in PUERTO VALLARTA

The Trip Of A Lifetime…

Everyone pretty much knows that I owned it when it came to traveling this year. But the thing is, I OWNED 2015. A lot of it had to do with figuring out who I am, who my real friends are, and who needed me the most. I lost friends, but I gained my self dignity and pride in myself. Yeah it hurts, but I am a lot more happier than I was earlier this year. I had to eliminate a lot of the FAKE, THE PLASTICS, the ones who do not know what is going on for their lives and trying to reach what they THINK they need. For me, I just want to live life, have fun.

I travelled to 3 different countries, 11 cities, which adds up to almost 70,000 miles this year. In all of these places I’ve been to, I think I’ve learned something different about life and myself.
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CABO SAN LUCAS:
Someone told me that I was full of myself, but at least I love myself.
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PHILADELPHIA:
The ones need LOVE the most are the ones that I give and deserve it. Not the ones that want attention, but need the LOVE. There’s a difference.
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MADRID:
When I was out and about dancing in the streets and made 21 euros, you shouldn’t care what people think. Just go out there and do you. When I donated that money to a homeless lady on the street, the ones that need it the most are more appreciative than the ones you know that you tried to be there for when you thought they need it, and then they burn you. Not cool.
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CANCUN:
You have to trust your own instincts. Trying to figure out the public transportation system in another country is not always the same as your familiarization in your town.
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IMG_2584_2LAS VEGAS:
That Britney Spears is doing another residency for another two years in competition with Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey who is coming back for the month of February.
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PUERTO VALLARTA:
You need those days where you need to reflect, and just need time to meditate and relax. Sometimes you just need to let go of the gas and slow it down a bit because if you’re on overdrive then you’ll heat up. You need time to yourself to cool down from the hustle and bustle and in this crazy world we live in.
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PARIS:
When you feel like you’re failing or if you lost, you just have to get up and keep moving. Yeah, I lost the fake friends, but they were fake, plastics, but you’re up and about and you keep moving.
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MIAMI:
This party town in south beach is always going to be there. Yeah we all have our obstacles that we go through, but there are more important things in life that needed to be done. FAMILY FIRST. If you don’t get it, then you don’t get me.
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From all this, the bigger picture, I pretty much learned that I do not owe anything to anyone. The only person I owe something to is myself. You will never satisfy another person. In the long run, if you’re happy with yourself and doing what you love doing, then that is all that matters. Who cares about the fakes, the plastics, they only worry about their superficial lives and the other “artificials.” I really don’t need that many friends, and it is something that I am getting used to with out having what they call now a days a “squad.” But do you really need a group of friends to make you happier in life? I can count as many friends in just one hand and I’m good. And with family by my side, that is all that matters. Besides if you can be independent, then the stronger person you are. I’ve always told people and I have to keep repeating to myself to JUST DO YOU. Keep on going, move forward, because “The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” And that’s what I’m doing.
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JUST DANCE …

JUST DANCE

I NEED TO DANCE.

EVERYTIME I DANCE I TURN INTO A BETTER VERSION OF ME

WHEN YOU FEEL SAD, DANCE. 

DANCE IS TO EXPRESS, NOT TO IMPRESS

I MAY NOT BE THE BEST DANCER, BUT IM EXPRESSING OUT ALL MY EMOTIONS. (you should try it)

AND THOSE WHO WERE SEEN DANCING WERE THOUGHT TO BE INSANE BY THOSE WHO COULD NOT HEAR THE MUSIC. 

DANCING IN LOS ANGELES. 

“FIVE MORE HOURS” by DEORRO ft. CHRIS BROWN

LACMA :: GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY :: WARNER BROTHERS STUDIOS :: UNIVERSAL STUDIOS :: DOLBY THEATER HOLLYWOOD :: HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME :: BEVERLY HILLS :: RODEO DRIVE :: SANTA MONICA PIER :: THIRD STREET PROMENADE :: VENICE BEACH (MUSCLE BEACH)